So a week or two ago now I had a bit of a blip on a night out, my irrational thoughts about myself and other people took me from 0-60 in a matter of milli-seconds. I was going to give up on something, I was a bit confused about a friendship and I did not understand why I was so “icky” about the whole thing. Luckily I have some good strong friends around me who are willing to tell me some truths when I need. A good friend quoted some scriptures and told me I needed to stop thinking certain things about myself. Another friend had already been telling me similar and then I was reminded of at least 3 other people in my life and similar conversations around what I thought and said about myself and it’s effect on me.
Cue – Crash The Chatterbox by Steven Furtick
I already had this book on kindle and remember reading the first 3 or 4 pages and thinking wow – how is a Pastor and author in the US so familiar and prone to exactly the same random thoughts and the same dramatic spiral effect as li’l ole me!
I was a little bit down over the next few days like wow am I negative about myself? am I an insecure person? How come lots of other people think I speak bad about myself and I don’t realise that? I don’t ever vocalise the real stuff only a snippet. Ooops that might be a point …all of those times I say – “that won’t happen to me” or “I can’t do that” or “they don’t like me” or “they won’t want to talk to me” or “I don’t deserve that” or “I won’t be able to have that in my life” I knew that in my head the barrage is so much louder and more serious than a passing comment.
I decided to start Crash The Chatterbox again and afterwards follow it up with the podcasts too. I want to figure out how to stop the thoughts or minimise them or at least in some way cope or understand them.
This book is really good and a must have – even if you don’t think you suffer from a chatterbox in your head I think a few pages in you will be reading things that are all too familiar!
The book covers ways the “chatterbox” is experienced and comes against us and then ways of fighting it. There are real stories as examples form both Steven and other people that help demonstrate points.
The end of the book has questions for discussion to help hone in on things and I am actually planning to spend more time going through these.
I got to the end of the book and found myself looking forward to the next time I have a dramatic freakout so I can try out the technique – I also came away encouraged about how much I identified that I was better than I used to be in my thoughts – I have grown in confidence definitely in the last 4 years but also learned a lot about who I am and about my value. I guess I thought I was learning self-acceptance when I cut off all my hair and decided to get fit but in hindsight maybe I just made myself into something I liked a little more and now I have the tools to try and fight the thoughts that fly in the face of positivity.
After a few days of reading I did realise it wasn’t as easy to do as I expected – I realise I need to fight a thought when it starts to spiral I need to be catching them way earlier than that – it’s going to be a useful exercise to go through the positive scripture and promises and write them out so they roll off the tongue whenever they are needed.
I totally recommend the book and have downloaded the podcasts from Elevation Church to listen too. Have you read the book? Is it something you can relate to or maybe you’ve caught the sermons on YouTube (which I hear are amazing!) let me know in the comments below…
You can buy Crash the Chatterbox here